Would you like to join my army?

I'm tired of gangs. Not like the gangs of New York gangs - they had axes, funny hats, long knives, black hearts and plans to kill. The gangs I unfortunately have experience with are pathetic, awkward, deceiving - just for the fun of it gangs. They're disguised too - like the wolf in sheep’s clothing but they have one more layer. They start off as SHEEP disguised in wolf clothing disguised again as SHEEP.
I guess sheep need to stick together but I don't want to have any part of it. SO BACK OFF.
People can be kind.

I don't like that idea

Where is Now?

Blog you are the only one that listens

That's right 3 in a day. I don't care :'(

I phoned back Zak and yeah I didn't sound like a dummy. I asked good questions. I didn't interrupt or be a moron I did everything right. EXCEPT OH WAIT. It didn't record. IN FACT every interview I did today DIDN'T RECORD because of one thing or another. I fixed the first problem (a little too late for my first 2 interviews) THEN when I talked to Zak the guy I really wanted to talk to the man with ALL THE FREAKING ANSWERS it just doesn't record. That's great just great.

I QUIT. I hate you life I hate you. More specifically I hate my recorder and everything it stands for. Maybe this is the gods way of showing me that when I think life sucks and I think I've ruined my day, my day just gets THAT MUCH worse. So I forget how I was a blabbering idiot only a few hours ago, which is a good thing, but now I get to think how I'm an idiot who can’t work a recorder and has nothing to write a story with.

That's fine. Just fine.

Flowers can be sent to under my bed where I am staying FOREVER.

I know I don't ususally do this but...

gOD! I can't talk on the phone. More specifically I can't introduce myself to people I don't know on the phone. I want to cry, run away, hide, turn back time, refuse to move, turn mute, cry, and cringe. Cause oh god that was bad. I was a telemarketer but worse and more iffy sounding.
"Hi Zack? You don't know me but uhhhh um Andrew from your work gave me your number and um I'm writing this article and um maybe you can answer some questions?” It continues and worsened from there but I have already blocked it out of my memory.

Who starts a conversation with "YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT..." unless you're ending that sentence with "I'VE GOT A LOVELY SET OF KNIVES TO SELL YOU" or "I THINK I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR DEBT PROBLEM"?

I think I chose the wrong career...sniffle.
I need another hug. I HATE talking on phones and oh wait my job is to phone people I don't know and ask them awkward personal questions which will be printed for random other people to read, point, and laugh at.

Now I have to wait an hour to phone him back and it usually goes better from there but gosh gee wiz I need to practise on beginning a conversation.

cry cry cry

Don't throw yourself like that in front of me

Greetings.
Feeling: my arm pit just twitched
Song: the end of one is the loneliest number and...oh what’s next...umm...something from Falconhawk

Oh look at me I'm like those cool kids who put little song and mood updates. Hrm maybe I'll just do one big update update blog.

Eating: mandarin orange
Pants: blue jeans with the ripples (it's a love hate relationship with these guys)
Shirt: my perfectly hideous bright red "Mobil Minor hockey memories" sweater
Bum: on love seat in living room...there's nothing lovey about this love seat. It’s just me and the throw pillow. They try to make it cramped and romantic but really there's plenty of room.
Song: Something else from that soundtrack

Ok I’m done. That was hard.

Close your eyes and you will see the best of me

Turns out I'm into hip-hop. Is that what They call it these days? Is rap different than hip-hop? Is rap the old not-so-anymore-cool name? At any rate I'm beginning to appreciate it (just like the semi-colon actually (did that make it sound like the semi-colon and I both enjoy hip-hop because I sure didn't mean it too. I now like the semi-colon. That's all I'm trying to say.) It just so happens the subject of this inspiring post was brought to you by the letter T and a rap...ahem hippidy-hop song I was listening to on cjsw. I don't just bee-bob around to the non-main stream stuff though; I listen to Vibe 98.5 too... stop rolling your eyes. I mostly listen in Verna (van, she's my van. This is the last time I explain). I bought Christmas presents today. It wasn't as bad as I remember it being. Maybe it's cause I went downtown to shop. *No one* shops down town. I spent A LOT of money and I didn't really get anything. Sure I did. Um. Our tree is lopsided. The trunk starts to veer off to the side at about the middle of the tree. I had "cremated chicken" for dinner tonight as my mommy called it. Oh yeah teehee:

Her: Can I help you find anything?
Me: Yeah actually I'm looking for Lesbians On Ecstasy
Her: Yeah, aren't we all.

Beautiful.
I was in HMV. It's a band.

Hoo boy, that made my day. When I went on the c-train home from the grand ol' shop-a-thon I sat down and quickly realized I was face to face with a pair of grey snow men on steroids. Dear lord! They were these slightly... ok more than slightly over weight couple. Wearing those used-to-be trendy over-stuffed snow jackets. Matching! Matching poofy jackets zipped as far up as possible with matching gloves and they were holding hands. It was disturbing. So poofy and they just sat there like little everything-is-normal poofs. Everything is not normal!

And I'm done.

Deck the halls.

85 34qw53e qoo j3 w5708e ho9t qhe qje r94 5yq5 8 yq53 85 t44444444. 85 2qw t99e 599 85 yqe q t99e 5qoi qh095 w3j8 d9o9hw 599. 8 e9hp5 3f3n ih92 8r 5y8w jqi3w w3hw3. 8 yq53 go99t34 qhe 3f3475y9ht 95 w5qhew r94.
5qi3 5yq5.

Don't hold your self like that

I am listening to Damien Rice - Volcano. Procrastinating as usual. I have something important due tomorrow and I haven't started it.
wireless + a laptop = death!
My tummy hurts.
No one's answering.
My dad's drinking questionable wine.
One of Rudolf friends is staring at me. His antlers broke off a few years ago.
I'm too long for this love seat.
I made gave my teacher the website I made today. It is hot pink and has pink squiggles.

My hands smell like onions

I like snow at night. I was reminded of this when I walked out of my garage after putting Verna in at 2 a.m. I closed the garage door and just stood there. It was bright. Everything was covered in a soft glow almost like those movies with fake night scenes. I stood in front of the closed garage door and tried to listen to the silence. It should have been one of those quite can’t-hear-a-thing nights but it wasn’t. There was noise but I convinced myself it was coming from my head.
I concentrated trying to make it quite and it almost worked. Focus on the far away sounds and they’re gone. It was beautiful. I looked around. I just wanted to stand their staring up.
Then the little voice in my head came and said I was crazy and the neighbours might be watching so I walked up to my house. Blinded by the motion sensor lights one attached to my garage and one near my back door. I found my keys, opened the door and was greeted by one open eye of a half asleep dog..

I haven’t spooned with anyway for a while. Except with my pillow and it works pretty well.

Update on my life:
People are getting the impression I am in love. And frankly it's beginning to worry me. The last one, who happens to live in Singapore, suggested that I might be and he hadn't even been talking to any other of the Love Suggestors. I'm sure it must be a conspiracy and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Maybe the next step is convincing *myself* I am in love. As I said to the Sing. Boy I am in love with the thought of being in love and I’m not even sure how true that is.
Oh on the way home I remembered these bizarre people I saw at work last Saturday. It freaked me out! I swear they were part of the mafia. Now, my evidence isn't that strong, yet.
There was this huge family (I'm guessing they were a family who knows) of about 15 people walking around in stores and mostly just standing around or sitting in front of my store. Big men with pot bellies and watchful (?) eyes and well dressed daughters with...those eyes! They were looking around and being more…it’s hard to explain…being more watchful/rich/casual/independent/gang like than...most normal people usually are. Oh oh! Did I mention they were all using walky-talkies? Every family member with one could hear what everyone else was saying. And the big mafia dad was talking to some guy who wasn’t there and then the well dressed daughter would casually lift up the walky-talky and say a word or two and then go back to chewing her ditzy gum and looking rich and casual and independent. Then the mafia family just disappeared.
Ok that's either one cool family... a money conserving family (hence the walky-talkies....or (the one I'm going with) one EXTREME MAFIA FAMILY. They reminded me of that show the Sopranos...not that I've ever watched an episode…but I can imagine.

I think they may be right...

You are 33% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

I don't know who I am

I hate today. I hate procrastination. I hate drowning in chocolate. I hate pathetic dogs. I hate misery. I hate clumsiness. I hate avoiding the truth. I hate how I live in school. I hate fearing work. I hate being alone in a house. I hate phones that ring and those that don't. I hate not doing anything. I hate the voice in my head. I hate wonderful dreams. I hate waking up. I hate the scratch on my hand.

Screaming is overrated.

Then I'll dig a tunnel from my window to yours

Hello. I have wireless Internet. Haha! So little work and sleep will occur now that I have this fancy set up. WOOT!

CALLING ALL LIPS: You may or may not know I have a lip wall. I think it's cute and that's that. I have 5 lips but I need more. I'd say another 7 will do. I don't know if I know 7 people I feel are worthy enough for my lip wall. This may cause a problem in the future.

Do you notice a change in my blog? Not in the layout. I'd like to see a change in the layout but I'm too daft to do it. Anyway, do you see a change in my blog? I don't like what I write any more. I think I was more inspired in the summer. Eh who knows? School can do that to a person I guess; it will suck all the creative juices out of you. I hate! Semicolons. With a burning passion. It's so wishy-washy. It's like being on the fence in politics... but way worse. Boooo. I just hate how it looks.

Do teddy-bears have lips?

Googleable

I'm going to CJSW tonight. See if a boy mentions my name at 11 p.m. I took a bunch of pictures with my camera today. Reflections and shadows mostly...and my dog. I'm glad that it is working again. My camera that is. My dog still is broken.
Yeah that was a disappointing post. It's all I've got though. Bye for now.

look out below I'm letting go

Does anyone else hate Adobe Acrobat? I get really squeamish and frantic when the little muscle man and the other whooshing graphics of Acrobat pop up on my screen after I click on a link I think will take me to a web site. NO NO NOT ACROBAT! I plead while clicking ferociously on ‘stop’ or ‘back’. It’s almost bizarre how panicky I get hopping there’s still time to close the window before IT freezes and TAKES FOREVER to download.

Rachel doesn’t love my feet. When someone says “I love you” to me I expect them to love all of me.

“WELL, DO YOU LOVE MY CROTCH?” she retorted.

What a girl.

I miss work only because I don’t get to wait for the C-train downtown anymore. I used to see and hear some interesting stuff during the summer. Now when I do wait for the train, downtown, it’s with James and he’s distracting.

YES YOU GOT ME I’M IN LOVE WITH JAMES.

Freaking love. I only love girls, crotches?, and bizarre happenings. Geeez go back to rolling in your own fun. Leave my love out of it.

Well that was rambley perfection.

And the winner of this weeks "What the fuck?!" award goes too...

As I sit here listening to my washing machine make loud rickety sounds I wonder WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING.
The thing is I drank beer last night. WHO DRINKS BEER?
Obviously I do. It turns out...I don't really mind it...when it comes in personal sized pitchers. WHO THE HELL thought of putting beer in mini-ish pitchers intended not for sharing?
Also, water saves lives. It saves me. I didn't have one sip of water last night. Because Mr. Bar man was all busy selling underage drunks more BEER.
I blame him for my need for extra-strength Tylenol.
Last night was fun though. Met boys. Danced with a taken boy. Laughed a lot. Wore my pretty shoes. But I'm sooo going back to my hard alcohol/girly drink ways. AND WATER. Damn you beer. Damn you.

I'm pretty sure I love you

Today I ate peas and soup. I had a hot cup of tea before leaving for school 15 minutes before class started. I was one minute late. My new bra has way to many pushing, squeezing, latching, denting components. Every time I take a breath it feels like my ribs are breaking and my lung is collapsing. I'm not prepared to look fake if that's what I have to live through. Not today anyway. Found out, again, saying "I love you" is foreign to some parent's mouths. That's alright I guess. I'm just going to say it more to make up for it.

you know what...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The song I've been trying to say

"I want something to munch on," she said to me. "Something empty."
I still don't understand. But I like it. I love readings things that are a bit "off".
We're not zombies yet! When everyone starts groaning in unison we should start to worry.
Maybe it's the hormones. But I want to cry.
I have a stomach ache that reaches to my throat. One of those nervous-could-throw-up but because of love stomach aches.
Really if I compare love to throwing up and stomach aches...Then what?
"and if the snows buries my, my neighbourhood. And if my parents are crying then I'll dig a tunnel form my window to yours, yeah a tunnel from my windows to yours. You climb out the chimney and meet me in the middle, the middle of the town...We let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know, then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow...You change all the lead sleepin' in my head to gold, as the day grows dim, I hear you sing a golden hymn, the song I've been trying to say," my new CD said.
The other day I was editing a restaurant review.
"'it’s like drinking innocence,' she sputtered."
I was so happy I had to read it again. Do people actually "sputter" things like that? Preparing to re-read I hoped, really hoped, that people do say things like that.
"'It’s like drinking incense,' she sputtered."
Never mind.

You, me, and the organ. Love is a wonderful thing.

A boy named Ian bought me an iced tea today.
I thought about asexual people.
Got a little depressed .
After learning more about asexuals got less depressed.
Listened to my new CD and I gotta tell you. It's good.
Dark, mysterious, sexy, hot.
Ok I'll calm down.
More something I'd really like in a significant other than music.
I'll take what I can get.
For now.
It's getting a little ridiculous though.
I want some freaking love.
R. I SEE YOU POISED TO COMMENT.
DON'T even think about it unless you plan to FOLLOW THROUGH.
love you.
The song's playing again. Honestly no one even says anything in it.
Just a bunch of quick breaths in and out.
Maybe that's why I think it's hot.

your turn...no really

I may be copying this idea from *someone’s* site but, I just wanna, ok?

So, use these few words and write a little something, something...

"As much as I like spring..."

Be inspired by them, or don't be inspired by them, or don't use the words, or just write what you want.

Ok. Comment. ALL OF YOU. Please.

Thank you.

I'll um...I'll do something for one of you. The 20th caller, I mean writer will recieve a gift. Yeah a gift. Or a gift for the person’s comment I like the best. The farther away the person lives the smaller the gift. But, it will still be a gift...and something wacky... but not too wacky.

Ok I think I’ve out stayed my welcome (that sentence was brought to you by Lins and the letter P (thanks lins)). Bye.

conversation

I post weird poetic stuff no one understands


why is YOUR livejournal annoying?

HA! I do not! Ok...maybe it's true...I understand what I write and know what I'm trying to get at.

It’s that time again...

Unleashed in the darkness of forever.
Lies a cantaloupe of despair
Brighter it spills onto concrete
Glowing from the ever more or yesterday
Wait! Says I
A notion which seems never to recall
A cantaloupe, it occurs to me,
An open ended eye.

Hehe

Ok that is something everyone doesn’t understand. Including me. Take that quiz! I'm not too sure what I proved right there.
Good day.

You know...

A friend recently said:
"You might miss a hole in your head...but you know, it's still a hole in your head."

You know?

thank you

The stench of Windex and turkey mix in the air.
While I mechanically wipe the dog slobber off the windows
I gag on the mist floating across the dinner table
I imagine all of us, guests included, dead
“Windex residue unknowingly mixed with turkey dinner.
five dead.”

The things I imagine while I mechanically wipe dog slobber off windows.
Sometimes imaginations are just annoying. And morbid. I always imagine the worst. Or sometimes the best.

We never said what we were thankful for this year. I remember it always being awkward.

“I’m thankful for you, and the dog and my garden…um…

“What about dad”

“Yes and dad.”


It always sounds so corny to say you’re thankful for having a roof over your head and enough food to eat. But should it?

Maybe instead of being thankful for the things you need to live be thankful for the silly stuff.

The world’s roofs and loaves of bread are tired of all the attention. While, the butterflies painted on my wall, which bring light to the little blue room, get few thank-yous.


Oh, no one died. Crisis averted…I guess it is still digesting. I better go lay down.

No one can screw the right way any hoo

When you find someone. No. When you loose someone. Do you immediately start comparing others to the first someone and refuse to stop until you find a someone that matches the last one's role? And then pound the old someone into the new someone until you've formed this wobbly not so stable last someone. So when you squint, cross your eyes, and hold your breath that new someone might resemble the old one. And maybe, they will let you talk to them like you did with the other. But they'll be very rickety about it all.

I miss saying "Hello" in the middle of an awkward conversation.

Arcade Fire

Ok so the thing is I’ve run out of deodorant. I’m pretty sure I’m not any stinkier. I bet my armpits are thanking me for taking a break from coating them with toxins…or not…25,000 sweat lands! Dear lord! More than I wanted to know about what is going on under my arm.

I was bee-bopping around to a song on the radio called Neighbourhood #1 (tunnels). The sun was just at the right spot to act as a spotlight. I always secretly hope someone is watching me dance around my kitchen. But then again, I always secretly hope no one is watching me dash into the kitchen at night in my underwear to get a class of water. I guess it’s all or nothing.

I visited someone in a castle yesterday. It was lovely. It had a bathtub with claws and the stair case was made of nice dark sturdy looking wood. In the patio of the castle…do castles have patios? Well this one did. In the patio of the castle we formulated a kite design. It had to do with glowing and night, that’s all I can say here.

It's times like these...

So hot
Feverish fever
Setting in
And I’ve lost my thermometer
No way to tell if I’m just dreaming this
Can’t strip down any further
I’ll gain goose bumps and a fever
Hot flashes come and go
It’s too early for menopause, LEAVE ME ALONE
My teddy bear is here
He keeps falling
Laughing, he doesn’t want me
I need a girl like in Kissing Jessica Stein
Or some wine…
I hate to rhyme
Now I know something’s wrong
I’ve been sitting here to long
Thinking of silly things
With wings
But still no thrill not even a beaver!
I’m in Canada for christ sake…just a fever.

yeah...well...YOU'RE an invalid password

The doors (ok two doors) in my house have suddenly started to creak. It's freaking me out. It's shrill and high pitched too. It feels like I'm being cursed every time I open a door. Bad luck or something.

The only thing my mom has said to me in the last 24 hours is..."four".
I miss talking to real people. Dogs and msn don't count.

oh oh! Please write me an essay no more than 1000 words on: How your career and philosophy will better world understanding.

Since when do I have a philosophy... do normal people have philosophies?
My philosophy is...........World Peace. Yeah that sounds good.
Now for a career. Um tractor inspector.
That'll do for now.

freaking theme song

Thought I would forget but I remember. After all you put me through you think I'd despise you but in the end I want to thank you.
My hair dresser said that maybe it’s not the city that is dull it’s the person who is dull.
Instead of changing cities they just might have to change themselves.
Every time I go in there she lectures me about school, work, and courage.

here you go...

Look. A quiz. Go on...and take it! and then see how your memory is or how your psychic abilities are...

short lived forever

The problem is romantic words come once a year.
Open your mouth wide and gag.
Flowery pieces of fluff stick to the back of your throat as they clumsily fall out onto the bed.
While in my dreams the only heart breaker is me. The only heart broken is mine.
And they sit silently with smiles. Yet their words are still raw and their actions short lived.
It’s dark. Eyes open and repeat, “I am alone.” No one’s here.
Can’t accept a white crumbling ceiling and four deserted walls. Giving in and drifting back to the new life full of action, pleasure, and romance.
It may seem too easy but just close your eyes and say “aw”. Squeeze them shut and live.

but I'm a cheerleader

Sitting on a bench on the same train station platform. Two girls sit as well. They stare into a medium sized brown paper bag. The blonde one takes two blocks of soap out and gives them to the other. The smell has time to float down to this bench. It smells fresh, a relief from the malls recycled air.
Surrounded by rain and content girls with soap.
She gently places the cream coloured bar in a mini Kellogg’s corn flakes cereal box and crams the pink one in with more force. They live in a hazy dream where it rains all the time and there’s always a lot of fog. She starts reading the titles of songs of her CD. Blue Tears and others I can’t remember.
On the train the windows keep out the fog and the smells of romance.
They wrestle it in by keeping everything out of focus. A slow shudder speed is the key she explains to the other.
No one’s perfect though. One kills a mosquito the other talks of developing a Volkswagen van using a modern day one and all I have is Dove.

One

I have created a new Zen. The Zen of Shit.
The first step to enlightenment is awareness. Awareness that you are taking shit...from someone (a job, person, group of people, or whatever).
I don't know what comes after awareness. I'm still on the first step.

In related news I'm beginning to despise my job...a bit more. Every time new giant guy walks by me I have to sneeze because he stinks of smoke and loneliness. It’s true! He reeks of someone I don't want to become. Not that I know him very well. He seems jolly with a slight anger management problem, a major addiction, and he slurps cold cheap noodles for lunch. I guess that doesn’t sound that bad. I just don't want to be lonely and I guess I'm not a fan of cold noodles either.
I don’t want to stay put and have the same constant job with the same constant life. I want to be ever-changing and always looking forward to something new every....4 months. My 4 months are almost up. Change is coming. HA! Says who!?
It’s like in some movies where the audience is told the character is due for some change. Nothing has happened in a long time so the character knows something is about to. The change builds up like a storm or a surprise party would (or something…oh I don’t know…anyway) And then change happens. Wonderful, “I told you so”, change.
We all can feel change. But the amazing change we are sure is about to explode in our faces never does.
I really really really might want change or think it’s damn well time for some. But mysterious change never leaps up and says "AHHA! I bet you knew I was coming! Now come with me! For you, good change starts now."

somethings in the air

I was vacuuming the house on Friday. I got to the dinning room and there flying beside me was a fruit fly. Minding its own business if I remember correctly. I thought, "ahha! revenge." I slowly lifted up the metal hose of the vacuum and sucked up the little guy. A mixture of guilt and satisfaction came over me. One down! One less fly to worry about walking on my next juicy nectarine. Why can’t fruit fly’s like something other than fruit? I guess that would be silly. Hell, it's more their fruit then mine. It's in there name. Fruit fly versus human being isn't a fair fight. Now, if it were between Fruit Fly’s and Fruitan Beings or Fruit Humans or Human fruits.

Anyway.

I felt pretty guilty a few minutes after and started thinking that I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to decide when that fruit fly was supposed to die. Maybe he's not dead. Maybe he'll start a little fruit fly colony in the vacuum bag. Ok I'll end this rant because I'm beginning to role my eyes at it.

do you feel better because i feel worse

I was reading old emails.
When I'm feeling particularly crappy my goal isn't to feel better. I listen to sad songs, look up pictures with sad titles, and read happy emails that bring back sad memories.
Really it should be the opposite to maintain a happier me. Some guy I talked to said that when he's sad he listens to happy music...to feel better...I don't get that. I don’t feel like feeling better when I don’t feel…good. I suppose I should listen to happy music and write happy emails.
Co-worker K says I complain. Well this is my blog. I'm allowed to be all moronic, complainy, and repetitive. Take that.

are those astronaut pants?

Now there's a giant at my work. He bumps into things and moans as any normal giant would. Recently, there have been mini white condoms in the garbage. I snicker every time I look down at them. Giants by day small sex hungry nymphs by night? I now realise my boss hired me based on the spelling of my name matching the spelling of her beloved dog. Pictures were brought back today because they all looked dead. One push of a button and I can revive them all. The other day a man grasped onto a pillar across from the train station. His bald bowed head pressed firmly against the hard cold surface. People walking by either completely missed him or took one hard look.

insainty dosn't flatter me

How about 'a new life' for $100 Alex.
Sniffle.

did you just tell me to burn things?

She sits with pursed painted lips and a blue bic pen. Passages are being boxed in, underlined, and skipped in her Holy Bible. The pages ripple with water damage and bend with overuse. She is calm now.
Before, she chose to pull her skirt down to cover her knees. The Bible flew from her lap into the middle of the train. Her guilty gasp broke the morning silence. Five passengers nearby discreetly eyed the black book. The Holly Bible! She swiftly scooped it up and began to box in, underline, and skip.

my jaw hurts

"I thought, what if you had drowned in the bath tub? All this effort put to waste. But did
I go check too see if you had drowned? No."

Aw mom, you know just what to say. 

"Oh I didn't mean it like that honey."

chocolate tinted life

Today, after work, I spray painted my cats. They are drippy but most lovely. Think back when the two cats looked like they were part of a very unfortunate oil spill. DON'T FORGET the flowers! Those pink bows and flowers were stuck on so well it's as if they knew they had to hang on tight to live.
Weak ugly will never survive. Strong ugly may never go away. 

well is that how it's going to be

My scale is possessed. There is a digital screen that shows the weight but it also says the weight. I stood on the scale and after a second or two instead of speaking it made this strained screeching sound. Before completely shutting down it fuzzled and crackled like the static on a radio. I blinked and pouted at it for a bit. That wasn’t really the reaction from the scale I was hoping for. Thanks a lot scale.

heat!?

Any who. Its hot.

today

Silent morning. Sally. Banana bread.

stupid nature

"Go back into the house you hermit," screeched the bee.
Then it stung me. I've never been stung by a bee before, and back into the house I go.