think

Damn it. I'm sad again.

I think I will quite my job and hide under my bed for 14 months. Then I will come out from under my little hideaway and shuffle with my head hung low into an almost deserted unkempt ice cream shop where I will order a bowl of vanilla ice cream every day and eat it very slowly with a small plastic spoon. When another 14 months pass I will order something plain with nuts but, if I'm feeling really daring I'll order tiger.
I'll be numb. All my inside parts will have lost their feeling because of the cold ice cream constantly circulating through my system but, I wont mind. After I've eaten through three more flavours I'll leave the ice cream shop and people watch. No cameras aloud and I wont look at them for too long. No trying to memorize their faces or their words or their hand gestures or the way their lips smile.
I'll start buying plants again and talk to them for as long as I can - I'll compliment them on their newest leaf formation or their particularly stunning shad of green - and I'll water them a very respectable amount. I'll eventually give them up for adoption. I'll make sure to interview the new parents and make them sign promises. Then maybe I'll go for a swim.

POP QUIZ

Can someone tell me what this says/means:

01000001
01000011
01000001
01000100
01001001
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Thank you! Isn't this fun!? Also, if you figure out what numbers should go next (fill in those blank spaces) you win a prize...

Look over there

I don't want pasta.
My stomach feels bloated and overstuffed.
But the pot keeps boiling, I keep stirring and then I sit back down.

A desperate attempt to feel loved may have been a poor move.
Not a bad move but, it doesn't seem like it will produce good lasting results.
A quick fix...and then what? Go back to feeling sad that he isn't here anymore.

Fuck you if you think I'm too sad. These words are just for me.
Hit the X and don't come back. Forget.
Forget.

A note for cool drunks:

Because every non/functioning alcoholic needs a little hipness in his/her life.

Also, I haven't watched TV all weekend (including Friday). Go me. What else to report...umm...this weekend has been really good. It's all about keeping busy. Although I have run out of things to do now...I could join the party that's going on nearby. The music is loud but really nice. I'm almost done reading my book called The Wrong Madonna - it's really good, a little slow but it's getting me to contemplate bits of my life and all that.

Alrighty, Meghan out.