Would you like to join my army?

I'm tired of gangs. Not like the gangs of New York gangs - they had axes, funny hats, long knives, black hearts and plans to kill. The gangs I unfortunately have experience with are pathetic, awkward, deceiving - just for the fun of it gangs. They're disguised too - like the wolf in sheep’s clothing but they have one more layer. They start off as SHEEP disguised in wolf clothing disguised again as SHEEP.
I guess sheep need to stick together but I don't want to have any part of it. SO BACK OFF.
People can be kind.

I don't like that idea

Where is Now?

Blog you are the only one that listens

That's right 3 in a day. I don't care :'(

I phoned back Zak and yeah I didn't sound like a dummy. I asked good questions. I didn't interrupt or be a moron I did everything right. EXCEPT OH WAIT. It didn't record. IN FACT every interview I did today DIDN'T RECORD because of one thing or another. I fixed the first problem (a little too late for my first 2 interviews) THEN when I talked to Zak the guy I really wanted to talk to the man with ALL THE FREAKING ANSWERS it just doesn't record. That's great just great.

I QUIT. I hate you life I hate you. More specifically I hate my recorder and everything it stands for. Maybe this is the gods way of showing me that when I think life sucks and I think I've ruined my day, my day just gets THAT MUCH worse. So I forget how I was a blabbering idiot only a few hours ago, which is a good thing, but now I get to think how I'm an idiot who can’t work a recorder and has nothing to write a story with.

That's fine. Just fine.

Flowers can be sent to under my bed where I am staying FOREVER.

I know I don't ususally do this but...

gOD! I can't talk on the phone. More specifically I can't introduce myself to people I don't know on the phone. I want to cry, run away, hide, turn back time, refuse to move, turn mute, cry, and cringe. Cause oh god that was bad. I was a telemarketer but worse and more iffy sounding.
"Hi Zack? You don't know me but uhhhh um Andrew from your work gave me your number and um I'm writing this article and um maybe you can answer some questions?” It continues and worsened from there but I have already blocked it out of my memory.

Who starts a conversation with "YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT..." unless you're ending that sentence with "I'VE GOT A LOVELY SET OF KNIVES TO SELL YOU" or "I THINK I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR DEBT PROBLEM"?

I think I chose the wrong career...sniffle.
I need another hug. I HATE talking on phones and oh wait my job is to phone people I don't know and ask them awkward personal questions which will be printed for random other people to read, point, and laugh at.

Now I have to wait an hour to phone him back and it usually goes better from there but gosh gee wiz I need to practise on beginning a conversation.

cry cry cry

Don't throw yourself like that in front of me

Greetings.
Feeling: my arm pit just twitched
Song: the end of one is the loneliest number and...oh what’s next...umm...something from Falconhawk

Oh look at me I'm like those cool kids who put little song and mood updates. Hrm maybe I'll just do one big update update blog.

Eating: mandarin orange
Pants: blue jeans with the ripples (it's a love hate relationship with these guys)
Shirt: my perfectly hideous bright red "Mobil Minor hockey memories" sweater
Bum: on love seat in living room...there's nothing lovey about this love seat. It’s just me and the throw pillow. They try to make it cramped and romantic but really there's plenty of room.
Song: Something else from that soundtrack

Ok I’m done. That was hard.

Close your eyes and you will see the best of me

Turns out I'm into hip-hop. Is that what They call it these days? Is rap different than hip-hop? Is rap the old not-so-anymore-cool name? At any rate I'm beginning to appreciate it (just like the semi-colon actually (did that make it sound like the semi-colon and I both enjoy hip-hop because I sure didn't mean it too. I now like the semi-colon. That's all I'm trying to say.) It just so happens the subject of this inspiring post was brought to you by the letter T and a rap...ahem hippidy-hop song I was listening to on cjsw. I don't just bee-bob around to the non-main stream stuff though; I listen to Vibe 98.5 too... stop rolling your eyes. I mostly listen in Verna (van, she's my van. This is the last time I explain). I bought Christmas presents today. It wasn't as bad as I remember it being. Maybe it's cause I went downtown to shop. *No one* shops down town. I spent A LOT of money and I didn't really get anything. Sure I did. Um. Our tree is lopsided. The trunk starts to veer off to the side at about the middle of the tree. I had "cremated chicken" for dinner tonight as my mommy called it. Oh yeah teehee:

Her: Can I help you find anything?
Me: Yeah actually I'm looking for Lesbians On Ecstasy
Her: Yeah, aren't we all.

Beautiful.
I was in HMV. It's a band.

Hoo boy, that made my day. When I went on the c-train home from the grand ol' shop-a-thon I sat down and quickly realized I was face to face with a pair of grey snow men on steroids. Dear lord! They were these slightly... ok more than slightly over weight couple. Wearing those used-to-be trendy over-stuffed snow jackets. Matching! Matching poofy jackets zipped as far up as possible with matching gloves and they were holding hands. It was disturbing. So poofy and they just sat there like little everything-is-normal poofs. Everything is not normal!

And I'm done.

Deck the halls.

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5qi3 5yq5.

Don't hold your self like that

I am listening to Damien Rice - Volcano. Procrastinating as usual. I have something important due tomorrow and I haven't started it.
wireless + a laptop = death!
My tummy hurts.
No one's answering.
My dad's drinking questionable wine.
One of Rudolf friends is staring at me. His antlers broke off a few years ago.
I'm too long for this love seat.
I made gave my teacher the website I made today. It is hot pink and has pink squiggles.

My hands smell like onions

I like snow at night. I was reminded of this when I walked out of my garage after putting Verna in at 2 a.m. I closed the garage door and just stood there. It was bright. Everything was covered in a soft glow almost like those movies with fake night scenes. I stood in front of the closed garage door and tried to listen to the silence. It should have been one of those quite can’t-hear-a-thing nights but it wasn’t. There was noise but I convinced myself it was coming from my head.
I concentrated trying to make it quite and it almost worked. Focus on the far away sounds and they’re gone. It was beautiful. I looked around. I just wanted to stand their staring up.
Then the little voice in my head came and said I was crazy and the neighbours might be watching so I walked up to my house. Blinded by the motion sensor lights one attached to my garage and one near my back door. I found my keys, opened the door and was greeted by one open eye of a half asleep dog..

I haven’t spooned with anyway for a while. Except with my pillow and it works pretty well.

Update on my life:
People are getting the impression I am in love. And frankly it's beginning to worry me. The last one, who happens to live in Singapore, suggested that I might be and he hadn't even been talking to any other of the Love Suggestors. I'm sure it must be a conspiracy and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Maybe the next step is convincing *myself* I am in love. As I said to the Sing. Boy I am in love with the thought of being in love and I’m not even sure how true that is.
Oh on the way home I remembered these bizarre people I saw at work last Saturday. It freaked me out! I swear they were part of the mafia. Now, my evidence isn't that strong, yet.
There was this huge family (I'm guessing they were a family who knows) of about 15 people walking around in stores and mostly just standing around or sitting in front of my store. Big men with pot bellies and watchful (?) eyes and well dressed daughters with...those eyes! They were looking around and being more…it’s hard to explain…being more watchful/rich/casual/independent/gang like than...most normal people usually are. Oh oh! Did I mention they were all using walky-talkies? Every family member with one could hear what everyone else was saying. And the big mafia dad was talking to some guy who wasn’t there and then the well dressed daughter would casually lift up the walky-talky and say a word or two and then go back to chewing her ditzy gum and looking rich and casual and independent. Then the mafia family just disappeared.
Ok that's either one cool family... a money conserving family (hence the walky-talkies....or (the one I'm going with) one EXTREME MAFIA FAMILY. They reminded me of that show the Sopranos...not that I've ever watched an episode…but I can imagine.